Aug 27, 2008

I want Merdeka, I want Freedom..

Merdeka day..
*dup dap*...*dup dap*... my heart beat..
and the clock ticking fast...*tic toc*..*tic toc*..

Wanting to stop...and move on...and do what im supposed to do long time ago...what I SHOULD DO....WHAT I MUST...RED colored goal in my goal list....'top priority goal'that is yet to be accomplished..

hmm...here i am...having no idea what to type...hesitating whether to do it or not..ive been procrastinating for as long as i could remember....procrastinate no more...!

I cant imagine life without them...this is one of the hardest thing to do..of course i will never lose them...but i know it will never be the same anymore.... Never... i i hope im wrong about that..But my instinct insist that it will never be the same ...they will be the people in my past who happened to be in my life for a short term of period....it really upset me...i still hope im wrong...

But what i feel is not the most important thing..i have given alot of excuses to myself and to others...and i couldnt remember a single thing i said anymore....i must think of the days that are yet to come...must never sit still in my comfort zone....im scared....but i have to do it..~~grow maria...growwww~~~...u have no idea how much im scared of this time to come....i am delaying my fear....i am trying to ignore my fear...im totally ignoring my fear...

world..im scared,but here i come....

2 comments:

  1. Ya, merdeka comes from yourself, not from others. U must lay a strong foundation in yourself so that u can stand own ur own feet and claim ur independence from the uninviting influence that overshadow ur opportunities for growth. Jia you!!

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  2. trima kasi banyak banyak for your words of wisdom willie... am lucky to have friend like u....=)

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