Cancerian in 2012

Cancer Woman Horoscope:

General

Cancer is the sign which is much closed link with family and home, it holds a physically powerful friendship with mother. Alternatively if we go on their previous stages of time are strong, cheerful and glowing founded. Once healed from any earlier life unhappy or painful experiences, the Cancer woman can grow to be a excellent donor of support and moving strength to all and everyone around her. The Cancer woman is a natural collector in life.

Money & Finances

Cancer woman will be liable to accumulate and take care with her finance and money. Cancer woman is very suspicious and rather cheap when it comes to her financial possessions. Cancer woman will be fairly charitable for money and finance.

Love

In her affairs, Cancer woman is very confidential, delicate, personal, loving, moderate, and exceptionally intimate. Once this Cancer woman has prearranged her heart then her promise to the connection tends to be whole.

Personal Relationships

Cancer woman has an unfathomable internal world, a world overflowing with significant concern. Cancer woman is extremely true to life and giving lover, but at times she can become pretty illogical and changeable and on these occasions the best path of action is to let her be alone until such mood swings pass.

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:::

Cancerians, get ready for the year full of activities, projects, actions of all sorts. You will have influence of Uranus which will bring in new projects and new hopes. Your time of monotonous will come to an end. You will be able to get more knowledge predicts Cancer Horoscope 2012. You will be able to compromise in a more feasible way. When it comes to work, you will be able to profit more this year professionally when it is compared to last year. The temper will slow down when compared to last year as the planetary influences is high which brings you more serenity. You may even revise or go for a change of career which will help you to inprove in your evolution.

When it comes to love life, it will be more intense than the previous year. If you have unsolved questions, it will give the right answer this year. You will come across lot of fundamental awakening in the coming months. You will be able to face any hardships this year. All your frustrations in the last year will help you to achieve more. You will be able to show your partner what it requires to improve the relation or take it to the next level as per Cancer Horoscope 2012.

Financial condition will improve drastically. So far the finance may not have bought you happiness. 2012 is a year full of money for the Cancerians.

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p.s. all pictures are not mine...

::: why being a cancerian is not easy....

because cancerian is extremely emotional, very sensitive...loving and hoping for returns....

very generous when in need...yet the most cheap....very careful with what they spend their money with...generous to certain people but not to some...

great lover...but can be very clingy too...

terrible moodswing...can be happy and sad the next minute....

most of the time, cancerians prefer to be awaaaayyyy from everything except for their own mind...

very attach with their own world...family person...alwayyysss homesick......

worrisome.....

theres always walls around this person....

you will never know what they really think about....

very ambitious...

Revengeful, never forget, yet feels guilty all the timeee...

Overflowing with emptiness...

Feels lonely even in a crowd...

et cetera.

Mission Statement

My Mission Statement for the year of 2012

Self Growth: Attitude, Public Speaking, Grooming, to achieve all my goals/2012 resolutions;

Career: Accounts or hobbies;

Money: Saving, Investment;

Love: Family, Relationship;

Travelling: to places I want to go...; and

To be open in whatever adversities that comes along...

Day 1 : 15 facts about you

ok ok, noww.....i just pretend to be serious as if im one of the interesting blogger....:p.....everyone is interesting in their own way....and its a fact...*chuckles*....so lets get started...

#1. I can online in the privacy of my room for the whole day without being bored....

#2. I dont like drama....I mean real life drama....haha....

#3. I am quite a hot tempered person...

#4. I dream alot....realistically as well as unrealistically...

#5. I love music...

#6. I have alottt of dreams....and I can go crazy thinking about them....

#7. I lovee my privacy....

#8. I am damn scared of Thunder!

#9. I enjoy hanging out with friends...

#10. I enjoy clubbing....but at the end of the day.....I feel extra down....especially if I drink too much...

#11. I love doing indoor activities.....as much as I love outdoor activities....

#12. My opinion....when one doesnt love you, there's no reason why one should force that one person to love you back...u just have to let go...or keep whatever bitterness you feel...because that kind of person wont be around long enough to stay w you forever...

#13. Im not a fan of commitment unless im 110% sure about what I want...

#14. Sometimes I cry too much....haha....so embarassing...

#15. I am stronger than how I look....I amazed myself....like for realll....:)

Christmas and 2012 Project

One month to go until Christmas....as usual, I want to do alot of things for Christmas....guess wanting to do something is not as simple as the mind visualise it....alot of aspect need to think...and all these ideas and excuses created by my brain is making me crazy....

too many things too little time....and not just for christmas....I think next year will be a hectic year for me...I love being busy...Because when Im not, i will be very down and moody...but then again i love my quiet time....i can stay in my room all day long and yet loving it...as long as I do something...thanks to my ukulele...my laptop and my books(which I rarely flip open nowadays)....and myyy so called unwanted room....yeay IM MOVING to a new room(in the name of privacy Im willing to move)...yeay...I dont know howw...but Im gonna revamp it....myself ....at first I dont like this room....but its empty for the last few years...5-10 years i guess...so since i never had a sense of belonging towards any room my whole life...eventhough Im sleeping alone...IM SHARING ...(the downside of being the younger sister).....Im quite excited to do whatever I want to this room without any permission, no feeling guilty or waste of money....yeay...I hope this excitement dont die on me at the first few month....

First of all...Im gonna paint the room Black....wahahhaha.....no just kidding....but im gonna paint the room...and the rest lets see what I can do.....and yess....before that, I need to find a new job, which pays enough to pay my dream....hhuhu...and i have alot of dreams....arghh...

Until then peeps...

I am a Minesweeper Freak

My besttime score for

Beginner is 4 seconds....

Otherwise most of the time I get 7 seconds...

Yeay Luck have pretty much played its part.

Cousin Paul got 3 seconds...ppfft...haha...

*proof* haha...i had to quickly snap this before it automatically scan/change to the next session...

Will update the intermediate level next time...:)) ha ha

just some thing about nothing....

When I was a kid, I told my mom that I want to be a singer...

I still remember when I was just 5 to 12 yo....i used to go to my childhood friends house...and we would practised thiss dance step which were choreographed by my childhood friend while singing...and then performed it as if we were already artist in front of her other relatives and we really enjoyed it haha....i wonder why im not a good dancer during this age...either i am uncomfortable or just plain shy or maybe i have no talent when it comes to choreography :))...but during these time of my life that got my long time hobby, which is singing.......good or bad singer...mmm i have no answer....but personally...why do i sound like a kid? and then sometimes, when i record myself singing..., i get this nasally sound coming out from my mouth.....*frustrated*

and there my friends, how i know i should not be a singer...ha haa! well it will be my hobby for sure...and music will always be in my heart....

WAR

My heart is whimpering...crying....

and then came the unintended teardrops...straight from the heart....

I thought my heart is gone...just nt feeling it nowadays...

then my mind absorbs too much unwanted information....

and then my heart starts beating like no one business...it is in war with every beat...

and then it spreads to my brain and now my mind almost explodes...and then my stomach...all the butterflies dead, dead trying to survive...my tummy refuse to take any food or liquid....my mind just wont let that happen...

My eyes...even when I try to close them...try to sleep ...i still can see everything in my mind......

my body is in war....my soul is my hope....

p.s. NO ONE SHOULD EVER FEEL THIS WAY....I hope i am the only one who understand it...n this is just the beginning...how will i ever get thru this....i dont even get to fight for it...

blog is for reading...

My blog is for reading....

and
I am the author...

whether you like what ive written or not...
it is for you to judge....
u hate? u like?....no worries.....i am still the author of my blog...

U are invited to stalk my blog...anytime u want....

Take nothing especially photos...leave nothing but comments....;p


Ok!
c u when i c u....

Interest

Have I ever told you I love gardening as much as i love music...i love gardening since the day I helped my mom to plant some flower bedding outside the kitchen when i was mmm 10? surprisingly they keep on living until few years ago...not counting (when they are forcefully digged out) ha ha ...

yeayy...i love to watch the plant keep on living....and when the first bud came out....the feeling is indescribable...and if the flower is blooming beautifully...i am like a proud mommaa...

buttt....so farr...i feel like everything is not at the right track....so no gardening....

I love cooking even though I hate doing it EVERY SINGLE DAY....by force...this is more about my egoistic nature....

I love arts...but no...i wont do it everyday and not great at it either...thats why i think i am more to appreciate-arts kind of person.....

Yeay I love INTERNET...It is like my personal educator....my personal friend....my dictionary...almost my everything....

no need to mention i end up surfing on the net all day long....like there is no tomorrow.....

I should name him/it like a real person....

Well of course I love alot more thingsss...sometimes i thought i dont have interest in anything at all(and that really freaks me out)...

so this is my post to remind myself i do love alot of things....

:p bwek :p....

an update

Okay one of my long term goal is in progress...

Am learning a musical instrument ~ by my own...i know....i hope this motivation will stay burning in me...

bought a small guitar, now people wont call it small guitar....well whatever...i am a noob neway...to be exact i bought an ukulele....looks very much like toy to me....but toy are fun to play...yeayy

n yea...my wanting to play guitar will be delayed...since right now i am concentrating on my uke...until next time guitar, until next time e/guitar, until next time piano...huhu...i dont know when...lets just put it in my KIV list...

Where I am from...

This is my version of "Where I am from..." based on George E. L. piece

My first attempt..:)

...Where I'm From by Maria...

I am from plain porridge & wine chicken served during dinner,

I am from kids who conquered the hometown,

I am from broken piano that played a broken sound,

discordant voice & rhythms that healed the soul,

uneven dance and steps that were done to impress,

embarassed, shamed, from the eyes of innocence.

I am from Dragonball to Enid Blyton,

I am from sketches of messy lines,

I am from broken red velvet lipstick and blue ocean eyeshadow,

from a cry after the fallen from up the stairs,

from hurdles, cartwheels, sweats and broken veins,

from victories and from defeats,

delights and dissapointments.

uncaring cheerful beam under the rain.

I am from silence and cluttered mind,

I am from trees, colourful flowers and muddy flipflops,

from fluttering butterflies and buzzing bees, to barking puppies,

from teardrops and guilts..

from impossible dreams, to daydreams, and just a dream,

I am from insecurity, but very certain too,

from in-denial childish, yet unknowingly grown up...

I am from never give up, hope, faith and love...

~MK110209~

just an idea

of how i always feel toward someone i consider special...

so weirddd...

never feel good enough...

***

When you were here before,

Couldn't look you in the eye

You're just like an angel,

Your skin makes me cry

You float like a feather

In a beautiful world

I wish I was special

You're so fuckin' special

But I'm a creep,

I'm a weirdo

What the hell am I doin' here?

I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts,

I wanna have control

I want a perfect body

I want a perfect soul

I want you to notice

when I'm not around

You're so fuckin' special

I wish I was special

But I'm a creep

I'm a weirdo

What the hell am I doin' here?

I don't belong here, ohhhh, ohhhh

She's running out again

She's running out

She run run run run...

run... run...

Whatever makes you happy

Whatever you want

You're so fuckin' special

I wish I was special

But I'm a creep,

I'm a weirdo

What the hell am I doin' here?

I don't belong here

I don't belong here...

We say"its too late"...and then we give up....

I was planning to post about Unduk Ngadau....Buttttt.....the computer fucked up...so I changed my mind...its still in my blog draft...and I dont wanna look at it anymore....its too late...

Too laateeee......No body gonna google about it anymore...

Hmm...too late....

Too lateee...no its never too late...

Its too late for this year but next year somebody out there going to google about it again...but for now....i think im just plain lazy ...bcos ive been copying and pasting pictures to my blog...and savedddd themmm...yet...they were all unsaveddd..and i have to do the same thing...again..

Thanks blog for listening to my complains.....

My point is....its never too late...i hope...i prayy....its never too late...

Conflict between heart and mind

I want I want...

No no no...

I am not in love....

I am just distracted...

Chill...This is not something I should dive into so quickly....
I want to, but I shouldnt...

Until when?

I dont know...until I know its for real?

Hopes for 2010

2009 is so over...now here we are, welcoming and embracing a brand new year 2010...

*ding!*dong!*ding!*dong!*ding!*dong!*ding!*dong!*

Alot of exciting things happen...

*ding!*dong!*ding!*dong!*ding!*dong!*ding!*dong!*

until the clock stroke 12...then our mind activated...all the things we have done in 2009 flashed in nano seconds...something inside u, felt completely wrong, u felt so down despite the loud music, laughing people, happy people around u...something weighted your back...u smiled but u were not really smiling ...u laughed but it didnt show in your eyes...not in your soul...

U felt such a loser,

a failure...



Now, stop feeling that way peeps...this is new year! goodness sake!...

new hope, new energy, new clothes, new shoes, new whatever-new you have, new resolution...

Speaking about 'new year resolution', have u done yours? Of course even if u dont practise setting a list of goals, its not wrong to at least have 5 goals...I suggest U to try *winks*, should be fun...especially when u checked one or two, small or big goals....u can try a small one if u dont believe in this...Dont be skeptic...Just be positive okay?...

For me, I've done my 2010 resolution..

so fast?
yaa..fastt....

revised resolution from last year oneee, changed abit here and there...checked missions completed and added some more...and there, WALA! A new set of revised new year resolution...
But i ammm soo not going to publish it here...HAHA...



Okay, maybe just a few...

One, to read more motivational books...at leassttt 5...do u know, its very hard to even finish 2 if u have alot more non-motivational books to read....

two, learn guitar, ive been trying my best to learn by myself, but attempt failed...maybe i just dont have the talent...but lets just give one more try...let the pro do their work and make me a guitarist...but where? well..i have 12 mths to figure that out...or at least 6 mths...hmmm..

next, grooming?
ooo have i told u about this one...xD~~hahah..yeay...
sometimes i feel so plastic that i stop grooming...besides the maintenance is high...oh damn...but at least im not as shyyy like i once were...guess whatttt..i bought a blue eyeliner yesterday and a pencil sharpener for my blackeyeliner...haha...
small things matters, little things matters...
so stop 'DUH-ing'

and what else, oh ya
of course...SAVING...never enough...i think 'saving will never be 'crossed out' from my goal list...one..simply because the figure is never bigg enough...two,because i will use it anyway...but i try to be discipline ok....argghhh..but i want to save for dslr...mmm...there i go again...

lastly...to earn more from this blog...guess 2009 is not a good year for my blog...but i will try to update more...something more personal this time...i hope...

whatever personal is...

Ive shared few of mine, what about u? care to share?
its up to u...^_^"

Cancerian in 2010

Happy New Year all..hope 2010 brings happiness to u all...

Year 2010 Overview

One thing that all Crabs (astrological Cancers or the seafood type of crab) know deep in their hearts is that someone, somewhere out there knows how great it would be to bust them wide open and eat them with melted butter. The big news for you this year, Cancer, is that Pluto has moved into your Seventh House, which rules marriage, partnerships and close relationships. This means that someone may very well be cracking your heart open in the next year.

Cancer has a bit of a reputation for enjoying doom and gloom. You don't. You just seem to get more than your fair share of it. It must be that thick shell of yours. Everyone assumes you can just take it.

The good news is that you earned that reputation because you can take it, and more. And often, your greatest moments come when you have overcome the greatest obstacles. Thankfully, the roadblocks you face in 2010 won't be that devastating, but they'll certainly give you an opportunity to shine. New support and new energy will be entering your life from unexpected and overlooked people and things, and you'll be able to soar above it all!

Year 2010 Career

As far as your work life goes, 2010 divides up into two nice, clearly defined chunks: the first half of the year is going to present struggles, and the second half will see a boatload of new opportunities. January and February will be a lot of work -- literally and figuratively -- almost as if everyone ignored their jobs during the run up to Christmas, and then decided to drop everything on your desk. Although your relationships with co-workers may be strained at this time, it isn't anything you can't handle. Be careful not to drag too much of that work stress home with you to a partner, particularly in January. Rather than dwell on it, do your best to find a way to take that experience and use it to your benefit.

June and July will bring some exciting opportunities for advancement. You'll be getting more recognition for your efforts, and the possibility of a raise is in store. If you don't have a regularly scheduled salary review planned for that time, things may be going well enough that you might want to bring the subject up anyway. Even the seed of that notion planted then can take root later.

March to May will urge you to really do something about your actual cash-on-hand situation. You'll have both an increased drive to increase your security, and (paradoxically) the urge to overspend. Try to avoid "emotional overspending" during that time, and the rest of the year should work out for you.

Year 2010 Romantic

After a year in which you felt that you weren't being heard -- whether by a spouse, or your calls for an adequate mate went unanswered -- things will be shaking loose in dramatic manner in 2010. Two eclipses this year will have a particular effect on your relationship with a partner. In January, an eclipse in your Partnership House will bring issues to the forefront. If you have an existing relationship, tensions that have been building will become unavoidable; and if you aren't, you may suddenly find yourself more dissatisfied with that situation (or a new partner may suddenly come into your life). In either case, the more dramatic of the effects may be short-lived but will give you the opportunity to make some long-needed changes.

Pluto also continues its long journey though this department of your life, and Pluto demands change and transformation. Although this doesn't necessarily mean bad news, it will certainly require that you address any issues between you and your partner, and -- maybe more importantly -- that you question within yourself what a committed relationship really means to you. Is it possible you're in the right relationship for the wrong reason? Could you be in the wrong relationship for the right reason? Inner work can be difficult, especially when it involves another person, but ultimately it's always worth doing in the long run.

As far as romance in general goes, however, it's more a good year than a bad one. May and June in particular will see new romantic opportunities coming your way, and will pump new life into a current relationship.

Click here to see your starsign 2010 overview.

Afraid of what

Being away from home makes me feel homesick everyday...
so i decided to write more about the past...it feels closer to home...
of course i will talk alot about the present...and occassionally about the future...

But now I need to do something else first...

But I dont know how...

Im jussttt toooo afraid...

I always feel Im not good enough...to everyone...
sometimes i think i am being tooo hard on myself...
but i couldnt control this emotion that slowly lurking into my life...

What am i sooo afraid of ?

The Angel Inside #II

By Chris Widener
Well u hv to be in a situation where u are desperately seeking for answers to all your questions...otherwise this book will only be a waste of time...

Take a journey to a modern day Florence, Italy where a despondent thirty year old American, Tom Cook, goes to "find himself." On the last day of his trip, a mysterious old man approaches Tom on a park bench and begins to lead Tom on a tour of Art, the life of Michelangelo, the history of David, and a deeper look at Tom's own life. This book will inspire you to take your life to the next level and beyond. It will encourage you and challenge you to create a life of power and beauty.

***

*The importance of planning and preparation
"Planning helps you do it right the first time."
"You can always erase and start over a drawings. Once you separate a piece of marble you can't go back. You need to do it right the first time. Sometimes in life you can go back, but it is better to get it rigt the first time because of good planning and preparation . Always do the the sketching and drawing first."
"Your mind and heart will be free to pursue whatever you desire. You will want to move very fast because of the excitement you feel. This is all very well and good. Yet the lesson is to not move too fast. Fast enough to get where you want to be, but slow enough so as to do it right the first time.

*All accomplishment starts with one swift action
Why most people dont start?

"They never give it enough thought to actually bring themselves to a place of action."
"They do not plan and lay out a strategy."

"They are engrossed or tied into what they are currently doing that they cannot start on their dreams."
"Fear, fear of anything.Fear of everything."

*Embracing the stages of chipping, sculpting, sanding and polishing
"Supreme artist chips away at us, other times when he is sculpting us, other times when he is sanding, and then times when he is polishing. All of these are needed to create a beautiful life, just as they are needed to create a beautiful sculptures."

The thing is whethere you can accept it and embrace it.

C H I P P I N G
"Every person has parts of them that simply must go. If those part stay, you might never see the Angel Inside. If we are going to create a life of power and beauty, we must allow ourselves to go through the processes that chip away at all of the peripheral parts of us that hide our true selves."
S C U L P T I N G
"The fine art of slowly and delicately revealing the form and beauty of the piece."

S A N D I N G
"represent those times in our lives when seemingly -ve circumstances surround us. It is when things grate against us. They can be irritable if we let them. Ppl...circumstancess...they all perform the act of sanding."
"Trials, adversity and suffering, sanding--are all significant process of shaping our lives...if we handle them correctly.

P O L I S H I N G "Final Step"
"represents the part of life that everyone wants to skip to."

*Being content: Sometimes success takes years
"You place too much pressure on yourself to succeed. You are telling yourself that you should be far more ahead of where you are. This just isn't true."

"The earlier we are in our lives the more we hope for the latter stages, and the later we get in life, the more we long for earlier times. The key is to enjoy each stage and understand that success takes time."

" If we focus on being grateful for our lives and what we have, our thoughts will tend to be thoughts of gratitude."



*No one starts with the Sistine chapel
"Many young people, and even anyone at the beginning stages of a new venture for that matter, pressure themselves to produce tremendous work as soon as they start."

"Most people cannot accomplish the great work that will be lasting until they have gone through the process of growing and learning from their experience."

Closing:

"Enjoy yourself now. Live your life with excellence. Become a person that others will be proud to know. Do the best you can at your work. And everything that is destined to come to pass will indeed come to pass."

~My Diaries~

Found my long abandoned diaries on my bookshelf...and read them page to page...=b & decided to blog about them...Ive chosen a few to display here =b...

enjoy...=)

*Click on picture to enlarge*

My 1st diary...1995-96...=b

Inden's

Idel's

J.Kay's...apparently the other sis never write my diary...*sigh*

Ojoy's


Debra's



My 2nd Diary, 1997...=b

Lum Kok Leong's


Nickey's

Frankie's


Cynthiana's


Tompok's


Clarice's


Jezz's


Ninewjo's and Andy's


Evendy's


Gerard's

I kinda miss the old times...makes me ponder and smile at those funny and precious moments that we can never get back...Life is indeed imponderable, strange...I wonder whats going on in their lives...they have their own path to follow now...

Diving....Diving....Divingg...!!

****
Long time ago, Usagi of Sailormoon used to be my role model...

*sigh* silly mee...

*****

my sis will get her diving license soon...I am sooo jealous right now...

been talking about getting one since last year (or was it last last year??) with my two friends, marie and susi...but we didnt have enough money to just go and get it, and attend the (if im not mistaken)3-days course....so we posponed it.

We have to save money in advance..another thing is all 3 of us didnt know how to swim back then...so we went and took our swimming class...8-hours class..but we didnt finished the whole class...still left 2 or 3 hours i guess...just FYI,u dont have to know how to swim in order to get your diving license...so thats fine with us...we still can get our license...u just have to know how to float, but i think thats not compulsory either...

at first it didnt excite me to get diving license, because swimming with sharks just doesnt excite me, i was scared even to snorkeled at P.Manukan years ago with LK and SG..I was expecting a smiling face shark or shark fin coming toward us...i was totally embarassing...i swam nervously real near to SG maybe almost pulling his hand...i think i have this phobia with the ocean....

Im a Cancerian for goodness sake! Im suppose to be in love with the ocean...weird eh..:(


But I saw alot of pictures taken beautifully underwater...so i decided to go for it anyway...but not yet for now...im out of job....and this is just not the right time...Besides, Marie just got married last december, and i think she is really busy with life alongside with her husband...maybe considering to move to Miri, so chances is she will get her diving license there instead and maybe tutor by her husband...hehe... while Susi...busy with her life...with work...knowing her i think she offers all her time to her career...and diving maybe not her priority right now....so i guess just me and myself alone to take the important action here...its okay...before i go i will definitely tell them and ask them whether they want to join me or not...=b...